I just have to. I just have to put my 2 cents in after such an incredibly sad weekend hearing the details of the horrific Connecticut school (kindergarten) massacre. I have decided to turn off all social media and TV news reports because I can not bear to hear any more about this very sad tragedy. I am grieving for those poor innocent angels and their brave teachers, principal, and school psychologist. For most, including me, it hits home on so many levels. What has happened really jolted me and made feel so emotionally defeated and vulnerable. For one, I'm a mom petrified over my own children's safety, that one day they too will be in school most of the day, 5 days a week, and the control is out of my hands. I won't be there to protect them if school violence strikes again. I will never feel secure and relaxed again when my children are somewhere else, and not with me or with their daddy. We live in a different world than what we once thought. The Newtown, Connecticut elementary school could be any school in the world, but the fact that it was in a small, quaint town (a town described as ideal for raising families) and then one of its residents' son did this is.....unspeakable. Is there no place that is safe anymore these days?!! We live in a different world than we once imagined and hopelessly long for. Lastly, just like the devoted school psychologist who risked her life for the safety of her students (who we just recently found out went to Brad's old college), I was that school psychologist at my middle school desperately trying to convince parents that their Apsergers, OCD, behavioral son was showing signs of depression and needed outside mental health services. It sickened me and made me feel scared for everyone's safety when the parents just brushed it off, declined the services, and denied there was anything "dark" brewing in the head of his. How socially irresponsible!!! I can count that student, and probably 3 others, in my four-year school psychologist career at ONE school that can potentially act and turn into the Connecticut shooter. I shuddered when I heard details that the shooter had Aspergers and was socially awkward....... just like the student shooter in Columbine school shooting. How many other mentally/ socially disabled students will we allow to commit such atrocious acts against our children before we admit that this country has a HUGE problem with mental health services?!!!! We need to intervene and shake some of these parents!!! There are many crazies, but there is a lot more dysfunctional parenting out there! In many cases, the apple does not fall far from the tree, and the parents of mentally disabled children need incredible amount of support and therapy themselves. The media and the general public will debate about gun control and all this other political BS when the real problem, the precursor, is always MENTAL HEALTH.
I have personally counseled and worked with students (all males) in the home and at schools that threatened to harm themselves, threatened to hurt or kill their parents (they were not shy about yelling this out either), and who play the most violent video games all involving, you guessed it.... shooting guns. WOW Some of the parents will do anything to help manage their mentally sick children, while others are physically and psychologically drained and just don't care anymore... they don't want it to be their problem. I worked with kids who ended up getting locked up in a mental hospitals, and kids I referred and sent to camps specifically designed to treat and rehabilitate kids with behavioral issues. This is a problem that will never be solved, because there is never enough money in education, specifically in special education, and more specifically, mental health. The worst part of all this is that some of these parents of behaviorally disabled kids are allowed to own a gun. Let me say this only once, GUNS KILL. Yes to gun control, yes to stricter and harsh gun laws and legislation, yes to psychological testing along with criminal background checks. And a hell YES to making it illegal for any person to own a gun if she/he has a medical or FAMILY history of depression, disabilities, drug use... what have you, and anyone this person associates with (obviously if they have family members or friends with these issues.) But in this country that will never happen, because the small-minded people will protest that this is a breach of confidentiality and they have a right to bear arms. For gods sake, its easier to purchase and register a gun than it is to get a driver's license or health insurance!!!!!
Speaking of the G word, GOD. I'm very disgusted that people are now turning this unfortunate school massacre into a religious platform. Ughhhh, we need to leave religion and God out of this. Do these crazy religious people really believe that if schools had prayer or the bible that this wouldn't happen? How ignorant. I bet you that the shooter and his mother were religious themselves, so how do you swallow that? Religion goes hand-in-hand with mental issues and violence. Religion in some very sad cases is used as a cop-out, an excuse. Think cult, think child sex crimes committed by priests, think suicide bombers.... The older I get, the more Athiest I become.
For. those. exact. reasons.
It doesn't matter what zip code you live in, how much money you have, whether you believe in God or not, or how good of a person you are..... tragedies happen. They happen when we least expect it. Its all about being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe its fate. Maybe its not. I can't wrap my mind around why some of the very young are not entitled to live a full life while those evil effed up ones are....... Nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing will save us anymore.
Well, I think I have used up about a cent and a half now of my TWO CENTS, so I will stop here with a promise to my babies:
1) I vow to hug you tight, smother you with kisses, tell you I love you, show you I love you, and protect you from harm each and every day, as if it were our last.
2) I vow to focus on the NOW but prepare you for the future
3) I vow to show you incredible things, and take you to amazing places, share in those experiences with you, and document EVERYTHING
4) I vow to be heavily involved in your school, volunteer in school, be on the PTA, cheer you on at your sport events, and be there EVERY step of the way.
5) I vow to teach you stranger danger, self- defense, and what to do in emergencies as early on as I can
6) I vow to keep you away from video games and violent movies as long as I can, and instead, keep you busy with sports, music, creative hobbies, and travel
I am grateful to be able to hug and kiss my precious little boys. I am thankful they are healthy and happy. I feel so lucky I get to go to bed knowing they are safe in their beds and that I get to dream about their future. I will NEVER take this for granted.
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